her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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