I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You are a genius and a whore.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
