Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
