she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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