Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
