Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
