hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
