he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
