i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
