Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
A bitchslap is in order.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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