you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
