I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
