Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
