oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we made out on top of his cat.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
