Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.

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(773): View more from Illinois

The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.

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(330): View more from Ohio

hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?

(614): View more from Ohio

is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?

(330): View more from Ohio

how did you know?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him

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(407): View more from Florida

We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??

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(941): View more from Florida

Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.

(1-941): View more from Florida

It's 6 in the afternoon?

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