worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
