those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My day in three words: secret purse cake
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
