respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
