I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize