what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize