dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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