her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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