I just made out with a guy for $7.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
