Girls should come with a carfax report
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
