She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just pee around me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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