oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize