This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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