Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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