Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize