yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
