My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
