scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
