Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
