4 words: hood of his car
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
