Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
