its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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