I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
