I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
