you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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