a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
