god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
