you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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