i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
