Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
do nipples grow back?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
