I got chris browned last night
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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