I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
