You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
