I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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