I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
