I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
