Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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