HIV tests are more positive than that guy
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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