420 ftw
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
