DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
