oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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