what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
