weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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